“what do you think?”
zoe stood in the bedroom door frame, her arms a little stiff, as if the petrol dress she wore had been freshly painted onto her body.
“really? don’t you think it will be too much?”
“you’ll be fine.”
she walked over to the floor-length mirror and started tugging at the seams. “i don’t think it fits me well. and should i wear the dangly earrings?” when i didn’t reply, she turned to me and waited, until i noticed her stare.
“what’s up with you, millie?”
“you seem distant.”
“i’m just tired, that’s all.”
“oh, well. let me get the earrings, then.” again, she checked the seams and waltzed off into the bathroom, “it’s just that we haven’t talked for so long, and i don’t want to look in any way desperate, you know?”
“you bought a minidress for him.” i called and let my head fall onto the bed cushions.
“first of all, i bought that for myself.”, she called through the house, “he’s just lucky that i feel like wearing it, tonight.”
“well, you’ve got nothing to worry about, then.” i said and noticed there were little cracks in the ceiling paint. i wondered why i had never seen them, before. i had stared at this ceiling, every night.
and suddenly, i found myself weeping uncontrollably, like a little child.
“are you alright, millie?”
i bit my lip. “yeah, no. i’m okay; it’s nothing, really.” i didn’t want to cry. it just happened. “if i won’t go to bed, soon, i’ll probably look all puffy, tomorrow.” i called, with a pretend chuckle. but the tears kept falling, so i placed a knuckle between my teeth and held my breath as long as i could. that helped.
eventually, i got up from the bed and walked over to my wardrobe mirror, where i stared at myself for a while. there were some drastic changes in my face. i wonder why no one noticed them, before. or maybe they did. my skin was sallow, my eyes tired and red. all over my face i could see little cracks, much like those in the ceiling above me.
i looked horrible.
“do i look different, zoe?”
“what do you mean?” she shouted from the bathroom.
“i mean, did my face change.”
“i don’t think so. why, are you worried about something?”
“yeah, a little bit.” i sighed. no answer. “well, actually, no. i’m probably alright.”, i added, louder, trying to assure my mirrored self. again, i got no answer.
“i have to go, i’ll tell you how it went, okay? have fun!” zoe shouted, hurrying down the stairs and out of the house.
i really looked horrible.
so i covered all the mirrors with scarves and sat on my bed,
and waited for new tears to fill up my eyes.