To Let Myself Go

hello to everyone, who still finds the time to read my scattered ramblings in these days of heat and stress and overwhelming global creations.

i will have to force myself to be quite straight forward with today’s daily prompt. and as much as i’d love to put some good effort and time into this post (much like with yesterday’s prompt, which i eventually skipped heavy-heartedly, for lack of time and thinking capacity), there won’t be no picture or poem or song lyrics. oh well; maybe i’ll quote a song, at least.

when i was ten, i went to fourth grade – like most kids my age.
.                         at home, i had lego bricks lying on the carpet and between my pillows.
.                         i had kept my barbies, although all i did was sew dresses for them.
.                         i loved to draw, mostly because i had detailed ideas, ready to be put down.
.                         i never quite excelled at maths, but once i understood, it felt pretty doable.
.                         i studied french. i felt grateful that memorizing vocabulary was effortless.

when i was ten, i got asked what i wanted to become, once i grew up. in hindsight, i wonder why adults confronted kids my age with those kinds of questions. were the answers not entirely irrelevant, when i hadn’t even known secondary education?
can kids even know what they want to become?

when someone knelt down before me and asked, i stuck with the activities i enjoyed.
.                                                                                i’d wanted to be an architect.
.                                                                                i’d wanted to be a designer. Continue reading

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I Can’t See You, But I Know You’re There

    daily prompt: keep out.

one look could tell eyes closed
everything               you left me
we needed no words l  outside

oh but    of course you’re there
of course we did            oh but

each look told lies      blinded
nothing                 i could never
we dared to say         let you in

was true                 l      entirely

lll

Nobody Taught Us To Quit

daily prompt: we can be taught.

i’ve learned a couple of lessons in my life. some really didn’t come cheap.
but there are a lot of questions left, questions that bother me.
and i search for answers.

nobody taught us to quit. it’s true. no one ever told us.
they say there’s always the easy choice and the right choice.
i wonder: is there a point when giving up becomes the better choice?
will it ever be alright to throw in the towel?

or do i have to be ashamed to give up on something?
is it even my choice, eventually?
if not, who’s to decide, then?
will my loved ones pressure me into something, and not be aware of it?
will i pressure myself because i believe it’s better for someone else?
will it truly be better for them?
or will i make it worse?

is it even worth it, anymore?

knowing how and when to let go is universally important.
so how come no one can tell the proper way to do it?
how come humans are not born with the ability to make sense of it all?

but maybe we are. maybe we just need practise.
and maybe this is what we have to teach ourselves.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have some giving up to do.

4:30 AM (Apparently They Were Travelling Abroad)

daily prompt: travelling

ELEVEN PM you zip up your suitcases. this is it. already you wonder
how in the world are you going to carry them around?

TWELVE AM you’re in bed, ready to sleep. the alarm is set. you forgot nothing
or did you?

ONE THIRTY AM you’re awake. you’re excited
will you sleep at all, tonight?

TWO AM the alarm goes off. you think
the best ten minutes of sleep. Continue reading

Choosing My Own Way Of Life

this time in response to two daily prompts
misfit posts and morality play.

i vaguely remember a quote that i read somewhere:
for me, maturity is when a person hurts you
and you try to understand their situation
rather than hurting them back.
if this is not maturity, then i wish it were. Continue reading