i’d love to say i’ve been through this before you’re bringing out the best in me and i promised myself but somehow i never let anyone so near that i’m my worst self today my scarred, broken skin shows and i turn into a joke oh if you’d only seen me yesterday because it hurt so much when i was careless, strong and free i promised i would heal i felt like i was seventeen and began again but most of all wiser i felt awake stronger oh had you seen me yesterday you were my little secret i danced in the fitting room i didn’t dare to tell the world how lucky i was how grateful i were if you’d seen the minidress i bought for you how i owed you if only i had told you i was borrowing you lovely glow and claiming it as mine would we be talking now? and now you won’t answer is it because we disagreed, last week? you won’t call me back i know i’m making it worse but all this being awake it’s already bad becomes too much and i don’t care i regret it so if i said something wrong and my head spins, please let me take it back and i feel cold and sick because i will hurt and i can’t think i’m begging you one painful truth please tell me this won’t let me be i know i can pull myself together and go on, but it hurts is this my fault, again? and am i driving you off? do i really have to?
.don’t free me. don’t lure me. don’t miss me. . you know this heavy cord you know your words please . around my feet they’re sticky if i loved you even more . it hurts to soar it hurts to hear their truth i might give up . but i’m afraid but i’m afraid but i’m afraid . i might drift off i might believe it hurts to miss . if i let it go if i listened to you and mydear . please pleaseyou know i couldn’t make you . don’t free me. don’t lure me.miss me.
by fine looms of amber ll remember the liquid gold ll plow up your pretty pink you fondle the flames those long lost luxuries ll for on this pyre it will claim to fuse in their heat what if l your passion and flesh they linger buried pray, you know within you lllll go spill your sickening scarlet your patina peels off lll soiled with sorrow and age if only to your irish green you blend in your blue irises they are say, what is it now to you but nobody buys it lllll invisible if not all the same stabbing pains.
“what do you think?”
zoe stood in the bedroom door frame, her arms a little stiff, as if the petrol dress she wore had been freshly painted onto her body.
“really? don’t you think it will be too much?”
“you’ll be fine.”
she walked over to the floor-length mirror and started tugging at the seams. “i don’t think it fits me well. and should i wear the dangly earrings?” when i didn’t reply, she turned to me and waited, until i noticed her stare. Continue reading →